Confession 7.0

I am a cold hearted bitch.

Not in everything, of course, but when it comes to battered women and being sympathetic to the reasons they stay, yeah - I'm a capital B.

Every now and then at work I help out our victim coordinator, who is wonderful when it comes to these women. She gives them the sympathy they need. When I did it as a job many years ago, I asked to be moved, because I just didn't have the stomach for it. I can only fake feeling sorry for them for so long.

It's probably because I am a former battered woman myself. God knows it took me long enough to get out (nine years) but I DID get out. The one time I called the police on him, they didn't even offer to press charges (thanks a LOT North Carolina!), but I probably would have ended up doing just like these women do, going and crying and saying that I needed him home, the kids need him home, can't we just get on with our lives? *whine* It was Christmas Eve, too. Joy. Marie, you didn't even know, but I had a broken rib when you came to visit us for the holidays. My second son was still breastfeeding. But that shouldn't have been surprising, because the first time he slapped me, I only stayed (yeah, right), because I found out I was pregnant with said child.

See? See what a horrid bitch I am? I've been through it, lived it, but I don't have the patience to drum up sympathy for these women. Don't want to hear their stories. I mean, yeah - I do it. I pretend. I talk to them nicely and try to let them know gently that this will more than likely happen again. I wonder why I am like that?

What brought this on was the article I was reading about mail order brides from Russia wanting to have protection rights from their abusive husbands. Granted, it's a generality, and I normally hate endulging in those, but HELLO!!!!! You married a man who had to come to another country to find a woman. A woman who can't speak the language, who won't have a support system, who won't have many legal rights. What the fuck did you expect? We American woman obviously didn't want a damn thing to do with him, or he couldn't handle us, the pussy. So he goes in search of a woman who will be willing to marry him after knowing him a week or two. MARRY someone after knowing them for days. Jeez. I wonder why it didn't work out? LOL

Please don't take my lack of sympathy as a blase attitude towards abusers. Absolutely not. I despise these types of men completely. I think they should receive the full extent of punishment available, especially the little freaks that have to go find a woman from a different country. I have to read about abusers every day at work. Well, I don't HAVE to read them so intently, I guess, but somehow I am driven to read about other people's anguish. It's just one of the ways I like to torture myself. LOL

So - I'm a heartless bitch because I want to tell these women to stop their f'ing whining about not having a job and needing their husband out of jail so that he can pay the bills. GET A JOB! Whining about how the kids need him... NEED A MAN WHO HITS MOMMY? Riiiiight. Whining about how they just want to get on with their lives. AND HOW EXACTLY IS HIS CRIMINAL CASE STOPPING HIM FROM GOING ABOUT HIS BUSINESS? All it is is just excuses about why THEY aren't strong enough to leave their spouses. And they certainly aren't ready to talk about that or face that, now are they?

sigh

My heart isn't black, I swear. I just wish that these women would wake up. If it's just you and him and there are no kids to witness all this, fine. Have fun getting beat up all you want. But when you involve your kids and make them suffer by seeing you get treated like an animal, then be prepared to have people get pissed at you for putting up with that crap. Hell, I know people were pissed at me!